Balance is difficult for me because I am a therapist. Even when they are trying not to, usually people look to me for guided advice and support. So even when I’m trying to show up as Just Quinn and not “Dr Quinn” it gets hard, even for me. Sometimes I just slide into what Dr Quinn should do and say because Just Quinn is anxious as hell and has no idea how to provide comfort or support to people without getting clammy and sweaty. I like hiding behind Dr Quinn not only because it allows me to avoid my own feelings, but my distorted thoughts perceive Dr Quinn is more valuable than Just Quinn.
Tips to live a balanced life
Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list.
Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. What have you tried in the past? Did it work? If not, what can you do differently?
What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan (fears, worries, doubts, negative self talk)? Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (For example: “Just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.
Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!
I have been working on not working so much. I am being strict about my schedule and not allowing myself to schedule before or after certain times, and not being so accommodating, especially for people who take advantage of it. I am also working on letting people show up for me as much as I show up for them.