Yep! I am especially excited to tell my therapist about this one because I have been on this shit! I have declined later or earlier appointments that were inconvenient to me, I have not let family who don’t care about me abuse me financially, and I have not overextended myself or offered to help anyone who did not ask me explicitly for help.
Ways of Saying ‘No’
I’d love to, but I can’t.
I appreciate the invitation, but I am completely booked.
Sounds great, but I can’t commit.
Thanks, but no thanks.
My favorite “no” came from when a family member asked me for money. This person has been barely in my life and we’ve only met a few times. I was excited to rekindle the relationship because I am always desperate for family of origin love and support. I’d argue a lot of us in the queer community hella codepedent around family because of rejection and we tend to overcompensate. This was no different. I realized that this person would only text or call me to butter me up to ask for money, so I stopped taking calls, I stopped responding to the platitudes, and I keep declining to give money. I’m very proud of that because I usually do the most with family.
You don’t get to love me only when you need me.